Wednesday 17 October 2012

Refugee


I have decided to hide away in my rural refugee for the coming months... Maybe longer... Maybe forever...
Last two years I was trying to open myself and my farm to strangers. What for? Some volunteer programs claimed that this is so awesome exchange and experience. Well – it wasn’t ;))). Was it worth of trying? I am not sure. Nothing really interesting or exciting happened during this time. Except some big problems created by two fucking Couch Surfers from Cracow. Accept from that - nothing significant. There were some nice moments, but no real friendship was created. Okay -  not true. At least one real friendship was created. Help? Not much. More troubles for me than help. Okay. Some helpers were helpful and meaning really well. 30% of helpers were really helpful. Rest 70% not so much. They were rather burden or waste of time to me than help. Should I continue? Hmmm... What for? Do I need it? Well, I need help. Lots of help. But not this kind of which they were offering.

It was rather exchange than a help. Real help doesn’t require anything in exchange. Help doesn’t demand anything in exchange. So it was not help – it was an exchange. Satisfactory? Maybe sometimes, with a few helpers... But is this what I want to continue? I don’t know. Most of these people know nothing and have no skills needed here. Apart from that, if some of them have some skills – from the other side they have some flaws. Some flaws are so big, that I prefer not to use their skills than bear their presence here. So? Should I tolerate here strangers if I don’t like it? Of course – I shouldn’t. But maybe sometimes it will be possible to meet someone sincerely friendly and nice who would be a pleasant companion to me and also some help for some time? We will see. Right now I don’t feel like hosting anybody. I may host only people who have soul and heart bigger than egoistic ego :). A very few of us live in this world ;) So it would be good to meet sometimes... It may be pleasant experience... Worth of trying...  :)

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