Wednesday 15 August 2012

The Darkness


I went into darkness. At first I could see nothing. There was no light from the Moon or stars. Nothing. It took some time before I could see contours of the farming buildings. I went carefully along the farm inner road. After several steps I could see solar lamp next to the river. Oh, how good that I put it there! In such darkness like that one it was the only orientation point showing where passage over river was. I put it here for horses to let them see the passage at night. For their safety. I don’t want them to fall down accidentally to the stream and get hurt.

I continued my walk toward orchards. Saba – one of my dogs – was with me. I walked silently in the darkness carefully putting each step. I should make some noise and let my horses to know, that I was approaching in order to avoid being knocked over accidentally, but felt like walking in total silence. I walked like a fox :) In secret :) After around 200 metres I could sense my beloved horses. They were on the left. I couldn’t see them nor hear them, but I could sense their presence there. The warmth of their dear souls. I continued my walk towards the farm gate. When I approached it – I looked around seeing in darkness reflection of the big fishing pond in front of me and a short flash of a light. Someone was over the pond. Probably a fisherman or the owner of the pond.

I turned around and sow Saba behind me waving her tail. I touched her head and caressed her ear. We went back. After some metres I could hear a move in the orchard where I sensed before my horses. They were there. This time I made some noise, because they noticed somebody was near and they got into panic. So I spoke to them reassuring them that it was me and everything was all right. They had been sleeping already. When they heard it was me – they returned to their dreams.

I continued my walk back to the yard. Saba was there already barking in darkness as she heard steps. When I spoke to her, she stopped barking - recognising it was me. 

I went home and decided  to bake milk bread for tomorrow. So I made the mixture and put it into the oven. This time I decided to use poppy to the bread. I love poppy seeds. I took out milk from the fridge and collected cream from it. I will need it for salad and for pudding. I think I should bake a cake as well. I have so much apples ideal for the cake. I will do it tomorrow after the control. 

I have made corn oats with milk and have eaten them with taste :)

So peaceful

It’s dark outside. I have made the cheese, are still cooking the lecho for myself and food for dogs. The oven is hot, but not very hot, so it takes time. I cannot make it hotter, as there is a hole in the chimney and the oven cannot work properly with full power. I have given to the dogs and poultry the whey after making cheese. They love it. 

Outside and inside so peaceful. I am listening to the silence of my hermitage. I don’t want to spoil the silence with radio noise. I prefer this way. At least today. I just need to calm down after recent incidents. 


I have prepared vegetable salad for supper. Now I am making a hot tea and maybe I will walk a bit outside in the dark to see my horses grazing in the pasture. They love to graze at nights when grass is wet and heat is gone.

I make my herbal tea  from krwawnik which grows in front of my house :)
 It helps for menstruation pains.

Today was no heat and no irritating insects and horses grazed in the orchard during the day, but they prefer much more to do it at night. One part of the apple orchard is totally eaten from grass and  that’s great! Well done! My horses do excellent job in orchards :) I will go to hug them for a while. They are so good animals and help me to maintain the orchards in proper condition...

I am thinking maybe I should hide away what I have, what I breed – in order to stop attracting people like these two wicked women who wanted to deprive me my beloved horses... They didn’t come here as friends.
I think they came here to hurt me on purpose. I suspect it was their plan. I felt something wrong about them before they came. I could see it in their faces when they arrived – unfriendliness and eagerness to find my weak points to use them against me. I suspect they planned to do harm to me and hurt me. Maybe because jealousy?  Jealousy is a typical Polish feature. Unfortunately. Unfortunately it is too common here. It’s ugly feature. Also luck of tolerance. The women are homosexualists and they demand from others acceptance and tolerance, but they themselves are not tolerant toward others. They are full of bad intentions. I could feel it when they were here. I need to avoid that kind of people. If I change my CS profile and remove all property information – only people who like ME will be coming here. Not egoistic bitches who demand comfort and benefits and don’t care at all about me and my happiness.

Generally I feel like a hiding away. I am a sort of bored with putting on billboard all information about me. From one side it is nice – I meet interesting people thanks to my Polish blog, but from the other side I also expose myself to potential enemies, or just people who cannot stand someone achieved what I achieved and lives the way that always wanted to live.

Unfortunately all locals know already that I have got beautiful, noble horses. Some of them want my horses and they will use all possible excuse to get to them. I need to be very careful now. They are waiting for each mistake of mine and are ready to attack me and hurt me. Destroy my happiness. Take away my horses from me. They also want my farm, so they will do everything to ruin my farm in order to get it. I need to be prepared for that too and defend myself and my property and breed. 

A Grey Day


Today grey day. Nothing spectacular happened. In the morning I went to milk the goats and cut some more branches and bushes. Now I am cooking lecho, food for dogs and making white cheese for myself.
Outside is peaceful. My head is full of thoughts. I am cooking and think in the same time about various things.
I am deeply in thoughts I would say :)

Tomorrow ecological control. I should prepare all needed documents for tomorrow, but first need to finish the cooking. I was sleepy today and spent some time in bed. Now it’s already evening and I have to do the cooking first. I hope I will have enough time to find all needed documents tomorrow before the control...

I have prepared some of them already, still need to find and complete more...

I have a feeling that in the nearest future nothing special will happen. I mean no love :) Maybe better. I need a peace of mind and heart now. Too many things to care for. I need to focus on them...