The Dinnero-Supper

I have eaten delicious dinnero-supper. Saying truth, it was the same dish as in the morning, as I was busy outside all day and didn’t have time and didn’t care to cook the soup I have planned for today dinner.

The evening dish was even better than in the morning: chopped eggs with spring onion and Polish wonderful mayonnaise “Dekoracyjny” made by Winiary. If you are ever to Poland – try this one. You will like it for sure. It’s great with all kinds of sandwiches and salads.

I added to the salad also some oil with garlic in it, pepper and salt of course. Ah, and some parsley which grows at one of my numerous pots. Ah, and I have added also my favourite green olives! I adore olives :)

The eggs after bathing all day in the delicious mayonnaise with spices and veggies tasted even better. I have eaten them with two slices of home baked bread. But tomorrow for sure I need to cook the cabbage soup. I need to eat at least one warm meal a day. I have already prepared for it boiled water with meat taste. I was boiling in it smoked pork meat, so the water is already full of taste and ready to add cabbage to it.

Tomorrow is Monday, so maybe paper day? And I need to sow the seeds in the plastic containers at home! The highest time! Some seeds have already roots. They need soil immediately!

It’s 9.22 p.m. Time to bed! I am so sleepy... My body after all day outside wants to sleep! I have some letters to write, but... will not do it today! No way. I want to sleep! I am sleepy and a little tired, but this is very healthy tiredness. My lungs were all day ventilating lots of fresh, clean air and the all day move outside did me good as well. I even don’t remember now about the morning pain... ;)

When you live at a farm

When you live at a farm time goes by very fast. Day is always too short. You never look at your watch. You work until its getting dark and you can hardly see anything. Busy with things you forget about eating, so you eat late, when the day is off.

Right now is 7 p.m. I haven’t eaten lunch neither dinner. But I am not very hungry. Well, I have eaten good breakfast at 10 a.m. :) I feel a bit tired more than hungry. I was busy all day using the opportunity, that didn’t rain. I just wanted to do what I have planned to do before the rain. Now is still sunny and I have some more tasks to do outside. I would like to finish them. And probably I will do it.

When I have here some summer helpers – I have to make sure to feed them 3 times a day at the same or nearly the same hours. And to try to cook everyday something different. To try new recipes. As long as I am alone, I don’t have such obligation. But soon, probably in June it will change. So I am happy to use my freedom in May :D

Well, I don’t mind cooking. I do like to cook for people. But I would like to have normal, comfortable and beautiful kitchen. I don’t know when I will be able to renovate it. Maybe one day a volunteer with some real building skills will arrive and will help me with it... Right now I just try not to see how it looks like. Just when I look at it, I imagine that it looks like I have planned... It helps :) But for some strangers the look of the kitchen may be a shock... :)

Well, anyway, until the end of May I will be busy with seedlings at home. I need some space for them. The kitchen is the only place where I can keep them in big number, because this is a big room.

I repaired the fence today and made it stronger. The horses are not very happy about it, because they like the other pasture which is now not accessible to them. It’s time to switch on electricity in order to discourage them against another breaking into the forbidden pasture. The forbidden pasture is too close to the pasture where is the young stallion. It’s too risky to let the adult stallion to get there, because he tries fiercely to get the young stallion to bite him and expel him from my land. The big stallion is widely jealous about the mares and even able to kill the young stallion, so they have to be separated.

The bigger distance between them – the more safe for the young stallion. But I need to build here more solid fence made from wooden parts, not only from wires and plastic sticks. It took me a lot of time to bring back the scared little stallion from the nearby forest and fields where he used to run away terrified by the adult stallion who was chasing him with great hate.

What’s more, I am afraid about his health and life, so even more I need to keep him away from the adult one.

The adult one knows what I think about his aggressive actions. When he was looking at the young one with hatred – I called him using his name and warned him not to do any actions against the young one. He understood! I could see it. He was standing at a path when I called him by his name. He turned his head into my direction and saw me warning him with my finger and serious, irritated and aloud timbre of my voice. I could see and feel that he understood my intention. He stopped looking fiercely at the young horse and continued his walk to the another pasture. But I need to watch him all the time and make sure he cannot get to the young one.

I have switched on the electricity in the wire fence. Then I have taken back home some plastic containers with soil from back garden in order to sow some seeds inside.

Hens are still grazing outside, but when they will go to the hen pan – I will shut them exactly to make sure, that my doggy will not get inside to eat out new eggs...

It’s nearly 8 p.m. I think I will make dinnero-supper :D

The additional good effect of today’s activities is – I feel good now :D The pain dissapeared! I don’t know even when... That’s great :)

I can see goats through the window. They play in the gold sunshine of sunset in front of my house... I adore my rural life. I adore the Nature, the animals, all the elements, vast spaces around. They make me feel good. They heal me. They are so true and beautiful... I couldn’t live again in a city. No way! :) It would be too boring too me, too limiting and not so meaningful like my present life... :)

The micro steps

When I am alone – it means most time which I live here – and are not feeling well, or just are overtired, overworked etc. I try to continue working just making small tasks. Even really tiny tasks. But doing them take me to my goals closer. I sense that. Even each tiny step towards my goals, towards my dreams – takes me closer to them. Each done task makes me feel better. I am proud of myself that I have managed to do so much in the end. I wouldn’t be where I am if not these thousands of tiny steps... :)

Sometimes doing whatever is hard to start. Then, the best are micro steps – meaning micro tasks. The tasks easy to do. In situations when I don’t feel like doing anything – I just choose such tiny tasks. And, preferably I do only what I would like to do. Beginning with favourite tasks is good for the start. Later I can continue doing some less preferred tasks. The most important is to break through and start doing whatever...

So today I fixed broken wires, took the young stallion to the fresh spot in the meadow to let him graze there, checked hens and eggs, discovered that one of my dogs eats eggs (!), so now the doggy is closed until the night when hens will go to sleep and I shut the hen pan well :D

Soon rain, so I should go out and to do something outside before will be raining. I love doing things outside. I just have to be outside everyday in order to feel well. I am open spaces human being :) I do love fresh air, wind, the Sun, rain, snow – and all these natural smells and sounds around.

Specially in spring time the Nature is full of wonderful sounds and smells. I just love them :) I also love to move a lot. I cannot sit in a house all day in front of computer. If I do it sometimes – I don’t feel well then. I remember the city times, when I used to live in a city and work on computer all days and nights. Sometimes I wasn’t sleeping and eating for 3 days – just working on my projects and exploring the Internet. After that I felt like a zombie. Once I was so exhausted that I fall down from stairs because couldn’t control my body anymore.

Then, I had noticed, that I should limit the virtual life and focus more on real life. Living in a countryside is very real :) Coming here did me good. Good for my mental and physical health. Sitting in front of computer for all day is not natural behaviour for living mobile creature like a human. I just need to move a lot. So often I do kilometres walking across my farm lands here and there doing something.

Of course I try to save my energy and if I can do a couple of tasks during one walk – I do them. I don’t waste my time on walking to the edge of my land only to correct a wire. When I am coming back – I collect branches or stones for example. When you work alone at your farm, you should be well organised and save your time and energy, using them better in more thoughtful way.

Fighting the pain

I am not well today, but the weather is okay, so I got out and took care of broken fence and young stallion, checked hens and eggs and sow some traditional apple trees.

Then I returned home to rest a while, drink my favourite Lipton tea and to choose and diminish some pics for the blog. My another computer works okay at least by now, so I hope I will not have any more troubles with it. It was fairly cheap – only 200 złoty per the second hand Dell with monitor, keyboard, mouse. It has only 20 GB memory, but it’s enough for me by now. Enough for typing letters, preparing pictures.

I don’t have the Internet access at home now, but it’s possible to check emails in the local library which is 2km away from the farm., so it’s not so bad. Besides maybe better that I don’t have the Internet access at home. Recently it has eaten one day from last week. It was the day, when I installed software at this new old computer and started to download and check emails. There were over 2000 of them. So I spent all day segregating them and making order with them and reading some. Next day it turned out, that my internet access was limited due to lack of payment :D Well, I just don’t have money to pay that, so what can I do? I think I can survive without internet 2 weeks, but... I was just about to do a project which requires the Internet access... hmm...

But the project is so complicated and not friendly to a farmer at all, so I am considering resigning from that. I will think about it. Maybe I should resign. I don’t want to take another loan not being sure, that I will be able to pay it back. And I am not sure if I will be able to pay it back. Taking loans means constant obligation even for years. I don’t want to be stressed by that. I think I prefer to live modestly and not invest in the farm such huge money for so big percent. Each loan is risky. If I take it, I could loose my farm one day. So better forget about it and just realise my plans by small steps. Step by step.

When I feel not well, I need to rest a lot moving in pain in bed because I never take pain killers. The pain killers are artificial pills which destroy your organism. I prefer not to take them. I prefer not to put into my body anything what is artificial and not natural :) I am a total naturalist. No cigarettes, no drugs, no alcohol. Okay, from time to time really really rarely some good wine, liqueur or beer. On a special occasion :) But I can easily survive without it :)

Taking pain killers this is cowardly cheating. Pain is for feeling it with full power. Each pain has its reason and delivers a message that something wrong happens with your body. Apart from that each body should have chance to fight with pain in its own natural way. It makes it stronger. More proof to pain. So, I prefer to feel pain that cheat myself :)

During painful days I try to do whatever. So, always if I am able to get up – I do it and go to do something outside. While working – I forget about the pain and also the move makes me feel better. In extreme situations when I really cannot bear the pain and cannot normally work for too long – I make special herbal tea from my herbs which helps to fight the pain.