After A Writing Break

I haven’t been writing for a while here – simply being busy with farm work and also with my Polish blog where I meet lots of fantastic people.

Something changed in meantime. I got a new, great volunteer/farm helper. His name is Darek.
He comes from south of Poland. He is very hardworking, clever man with initiative and farm skills needed here. I am considering to keep him here during all winter and probably longer.

We work together a lot and do great job in my fields and woods, also at settlement and my home.
He really likes farm life. He loves nature and animals and country peace. We have a lot in common. Similar life ideas.

It is possible that his wife will come here as well. If so – after some time I will be able to leave them at my farm alone and I will be able to go travelling for a while. But, as I know myself well – I would rather go to work somewhere instead of loosing time on simple travelling. I need lots of money to invest in my paradise, so every penny would do me good :)

I am so glad that I have met so wonderful Friend like Darek.
I wish I could also meet my beloved sweetheart... Where is he??? :)
I hope, that my dreamed Angel will arrive at my farm one day and will make me extremaly happy :)

No Progress

Dear readers,
Probably you think that I have already written at least 200 pages of my first novel.
Well, you may think this, because you don't see the novel. I will not lie to you - the novel doesn't progress much, basicly, because I am busy with other writing recently - in my mother toungue. My Polish blog is followed by hundreds people, so I need to write something there from time to time and also respond to people's comments - otherwise they feel neglected by me...

But I promise you and myself - to continue the novel.

Have a good day,
Isabelle

Becoming A Writer

I am slowly becoming a writer while I write my first novel. I am sorry - I write it in secret, as local red concrete started to read it in order to use it against me. I like to share my life and thoughs with others, but secret mode is just safer for me - not all readers reading my blogs and novel are friendly.

Besides while I write it in secret - I feel more free. I like to write what I would like to write - without thinking what others would think or how judge what I write.

Writing without stress is much more enjoyable. Of course I will publish my novel one day when it will be completed. Until this time I cannot share it with you...

Have a good autumn,
Isabelle

My Novel

I have decided to move from this url address where up to now I was writing a blog online and instead of that to start writing my novel online. So, unfortunately I will cease writing the blog. I don't have so much time to write in the same time 2 blogs and one novel. I prefer to focus on my novel, which should be more open and sincere than blogs could be.

Hated Love

I am wondering, why men who are given unconditional wonderful love hate it so much and treat the women who love them worse than prostitutes?  I cannot understand that. Why? Why it works like that? What’s wrong? Why men who are given such a purely good gift behave like sadistic bastards?

Bailiff?

In the morning a local bailiff contacted with me. She said, that I am due to ARiMR 12 złoty. How come? They have taken all my grants from my bank account in the summer. Around 15.000 złoty. And yet they want more now? I told her I don’t have a single złoty, besides this 15.000 złoty grant shouldn’t have been taken from me, because the matter was still going on which means, the money shouldn’t been taken until the matter is resolved.

She has nasty profession, but she is a nice girl. We chatted for a while on the mobile phone. And while we were chatting, she left my farm and went to my neighbours... ;) She says, she has 7 more clients in my village ;))) How come? :))) It means, that all my village is in debts ;))) Which I am finding a bit encouraging ;))) But since I have reasons to be in a difficult financial situation – the rest of the village inhabitants have far much better financial and material situation than me, also far better social situations, since they live with their families who are helping them in everyday duties. Right now I have minus 324,38 złoty at my bank account, since I spend the money which were supposed to be left there for loan rate – I spent them for buying grain and potatoes, also some hay. Still I need to buy some more hay and straw, also new fruit trees. I will not have enough money for it.

What should I do? I don’t have enough money for all my farm needs. Maybe I should to try to teach English at my farm? But my farm is situated in a remote place and the access to the farm is hard since the roads are soft and muddy. Nevertheless, it is worth of trying. Probably I will not have any clients, but maybe at least one or two who would give me some additional income? Let’s try it. I have experience and so much teaching materials. I should at least try. I used to teach while living in my home town. I used to have 40 lessons a week with various students – young and old. Well, but I was living in the centre of a big Polish city, so I could afford to have so many students. Right now I live in a remote place and yet my Internet connection is of a bad quality so I cannot teach via Internet. But still I have talent for teaching and yet enormous experience. Besides, my English improves with each day when I read English novels and listen to them.

I have decided to study economics in English. It would be great help to teach business English and by the way – I will refresh my economics knowledge. So – a lot of studying in front of me. But first I need to study law in Polish since I have to fight with local red concrete which is disturbing in my happy farming and limits my farm development and progress.

October Night

“Summertime sadness”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGRx_53YbxU The song flows across my rooms flooding each corner with this fascinating music. I am not sad. Just quiet. It’s late. I am sitting in a lonely house surrounded by dark meadows and listening to the music. Thinking about today, yesterday and tomorrow. 

Yesterday there was another control from eco certification  institution. The controller arrived late. It was young, tall and handsome man. At first I didn’t notice this – that he is handsome, tall and young. At first I was stressed because of the control. For me each controller is a potential enemy. But he was okay. He bravely borne the living condition in which I live. He didn’t complain. He also didn’t get irritated when a piece of paper got wet by accident while he put it at kitchen table... ;) He handed to me copies and originals of the protocol, since he couldn’t put them at the wet table. In one hand I was keeping originals and in another copies. It was funny scene, but I was too stress to notice this at first because of the magic and scary word: “control”. I hate any controls and exams. They always cause enormous stress in me.

As I say, I didn’t notice him until he said in a theatrical way: “Lady Isabelle! Lady Isabelle! Lady Isabelle! This is your name, isn’t it? I remember your name since I was here a few times already. Do you remember me?”

“Really? I only remember your name and surname. I know that you was here once.”
His talk made me interested in him a bit, as there was something in his face, something hidden, or something what he was trying to hide – I understood that this meeting had two meanings. Professional and a kind of personal. What he was up to? Maybe it was just curiosity – why an intelligent woman from a big city has chosen to live in a countryside like this. Or maybe it was something else? Some kind of attraction? But how? We hardly know each other and usually during these meetings I don’t care what I wear on my self. Usually working farm clothes ;) So why? Maybe he reads my Polish blog? Or maybe he was flirting with me some time ago on one of the messengers? While I was wondering about it I spotted a wedding ring at his hand. “Taken.” – I thought. My interest immediately evaporated.

Later that evening – when after his short visit he left my house and I was accompanying him to his car having some professional questions to him about my farm and my potential grants – I have noticed how tall he was. Really tall. And really handsome. And yet intelligent. “What a shame that he is already married” – I thought. But wasn’t him who was asking me some time ago to rent a room in my house? I don’t remember if it was him or somebody else. Anyway – my house is not ready for renting rooms, specially now, when I have loads of work outside and inside.

Now, after reading the Eleven Minutes I was looking at the man differently. I saw something, what I wasn’t noticing before. He was unsure. A kind of scared. Like the men described by Maria. Should I seduce him? – a devilish thought ran across my mind. What for? He is married. It would be no future in front of us and I prefer to seduce someone with whom I could create my dreamed paradises. Besides I am too moral and too passive to seduce whoever. I am not going to change now. I prefer to live my own lifestyle which is difficult and hard, but it’s mine and it’s pure. Besides it’s no sense to complicate professional relationship which is good. He is a controller and I am a farmer. That’s it!


Lana del  Rey - Summertime Sadness

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby you the best

I got my red dress on tonight
Dancin' in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big, beauty queen style
High heels off, I'm feelin' alive

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above, are sizzlin' like a snare
Honey I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby you're the best

I got that summertime, summertime sadness
su-su-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

I'm feelin' electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin' by 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above, are sizzlin' like a snare
Honey I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby you're the best

I got that summertime, summertime sadness
Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

Think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later's better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive

I got that summertime, summertime sadness
Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby you're the best

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness
Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

text taken from this website: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tsNoZQSTNc&feature=related
I do not own the song or don't claim the text of the song is mine.

Fogg

Everywhere overwhelming fogg. In the morning, during the day and total fogg at night...
I feel like a lonely ship sailing across unlimited ocean... In silence and deep darkness strengthen by fogg...

I am listening to Rafał Brzozowski songs. I love his song titled: „Tak blisko” (So close).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKDXdnZC7EI

I have finished reading the novel, I mean Eleven Minutes. At first I was reading in English, but since the copy was poor quality, I have found Polish version which was slightly better - less mistakes.
I am finding this novel very interesting. I can recommend you to read it. It is not a typical book, which I like.

A Novel

Saying truth – since ages I haven’t been reading to any new novels. This year I have listened to some – two or three Polish novels, some Russian short stories and one English novel.
I also started to read and listen one American contemporary romance, but since the story is boring – I didn’t completed it yet. The other reason why I didn’t completed it is – I changed sleeping place and sleep far away from my computer which I use for listening to the stories. The sleeping time is the only time when I have time to listen to anything or if I work in the kitchen. But recently I work all days outside.

But today an online friend of mine – a nice American cavalier – recommended to me an interesting novel.
So I have found the source on the Internet where I can read it – and started to read it.
It’s Paulo Coehlo novel – Eleven Minutes.
I just started to read it, but I enjoy it :)

http://britamerican.org/download/library/Eleven_Minutes.pdf

So, as I said - cultural exchange doesn't require to see people in person. I may have pleasure from cultural exchange thanks to the Internet :)

Beautiful Wednesday

Today beautiful day. Perfect day for working outside. I am eagerly heading to my orchard to work there. But first my horses need oat. Hens and geese already were given their grain and water. Cat has full bowls of food, but is begging for something more. Dog is waiting for her food be cooked. I am cooking for her rice with vegetables. I have eaten sandwich with cooked pumpkin slice and fried egg and am drinking tea now.

Today I am listening to French Music which I find really relaxing and pleasant to listen to:
http://www.polskastacja.pl/webplayer/?channel=38

I feel perfectly well with awareness, that I don’t have to do anything extra than normally. I mean, that I don’t need to clean the house and cook various foods according to coming strangers. That I don’t have to buy more food and more various one. I cannot buy more different food this month since I need to buy hay for the winter.

For me Internet cultural exchange is perfectly enough. I don’t need to meet all those people in person, specially if it means for me extra work and expenses.. Besides, I think, if someone offers her/his help at my farm – should deliver this help instead of expecting from me to have done most job before they come. If they want to have clean place here – they should clean it – not expecting me to do it. When I am alone – I don’t have to do it. I have lots of tasks outside the house – no time for housekeeping. I do only really essential basic things in the house like washing dishes and table. I don’t have time for anything else. Still lots of apples is waiting for cutting them and frying. But I need to go outside. I prefer to go outside. It’s nice weather today and I can do something in the orchard. I like to work outside :)

Refugee

I have decided to hide away in my rural refugee for the coming months... Maybe longer... Maybe forever...
Last two years I was trying to open myself and my farm to strangers. What for? Some volunteer programs claimed that this is so awesome exchange and experience. Well – it wasn’t ;))). Was it worth of trying? I am not sure. Nothing really interesting or exciting happened during this time. Except some big problems created by two fucking Couch Surfers from Cracow. Accept from that - nothing significant. There were some nice moments, but no real friendship was created. Okay -  not true. At least one real friendship was created. Help? Not much. More troubles for me than help. Okay. Some helpers were helpful and meaning really well. 30% of helpers were really helpful. Rest 70% not so much. They were rather burden or waste of time to me than help. Should I continue? Hmmm... What for? Do I need it? Well, I need help. Lots of help. But not this kind of which they were offering.

It was rather exchange than a help. Real help doesn’t require anything in exchange. Help doesn’t demand anything in exchange. So it was not help – it was an exchange. Satisfactory? Maybe sometimes, with a few helpers... But is this what I want to continue? I don’t know. Most of these people know nothing and have no skills needed here. Apart from that, if some of them have some skills – from the other side they have some flaws. Some flaws are so big, that I prefer not to use their skills than bear their presence here. So? Should I tolerate here strangers if I don’t like it? Of course – I shouldn’t. But maybe sometimes it will be possible to meet someone sincerely friendly and nice who would be a pleasant companion to me and also some help for some time? We will see. Right now I don’t feel like hosting anybody. I may host only people who have soul and heart bigger than egoistic ego :). A very few of us live in this world ;) So it would be good to meet sometimes... It may be pleasant experience... Worth of trying...  :)

Eleven Pumpkin Wheelbarrows

Altogether I have collected 11 wheelbarrows with pumpkins from my garden. Nice crop :).
It is the first year when I grow pumpkins. I may add - succesful growing :) I was just about to remove all pumpkin plants, because they weren't haveing flowers for a long time and I thought they are GMO and will not give me any fruits. Luckily I was too busy with other things, and after a few days first flowers appeared and now I have lots of pumpkins :)

Besides I have written my first Polish rebel song. Now I need a musician to compose music to it and record it :)

My Pumpkins And My Radio

Today I am collecting the last pumpkins and building my new radio :)
I have collected 8 wheelbarrows with pumpkins so far and collected tens of great songs which I am going to listen in the coming months... :) I will share with you the radio when it will be completed :)

Crazy

Recently I did something crazy. Now I think what to do with it. Should I continue the crazy thing, or should I stop? I have no idea. It’s autumn. Time for hugging. I have no-one to hug. Nearly no one. I am hungry for love. But I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to hug not appropriate person ;)

I am in a such mood, that I could easily fall in love with someone who seems to be nice and good. But if the person appears to be egoistic bastard who just wants to use me? What then? I hate egoistic bastards. Oh, gosh... I don’t know what to do... What should I do? I think I should stop thinking... ;))) Lets go with a flow ;)))

NO. I started to think. Less feeling – more thinking. Less emotions – more thinking. The damage has been done. I will cut the crazy thing. Pity. It could have been a nice romance... :)

But he is Capricorn Dragon – the worst possible personality for me. It cannot work. For sure not in a long term... And I would prefer a long term relationship... But he is nice... I a sort of like him... But it cannot work. I am totally confused... I don’t know what to do... What to do???

Nasty Cold Day

Today cold, wet and nasty day. No trace of yesterday beauty autumn. Today ugly autumn. Weather discourages me from going outside and working there. Lucky me I did work yesterday in the orchard. Today I have no will to go there. Too cold in my hands. I just did basic animal maintenance and went to see if I can find any mushrooms. I didn’t find many mushrooms, yet I don’t know if they are edible. So I returned home and think what to do here. Good day for papers. I planned to do today papers. Yes, it would be good to engage in it. But I need to go to check something outside.

Papers?

Well, today I spent all day outside. The weather was fine, so I worked in the orchard. I was cutting branches and putting on new tree protectors which just have arrived. I have been working until darkness.
Now I am at home. Already after dinnero-supper :)
It’s late, but I moved in my study and started doing papers. Papers are already very late, but I couldn’t help it.
I have too much work in the farm to deal with papers on time. I hope it will be possible to repair the damage.
I mean – crossing the deadlines.  Tomorrow I am going to spend some time in my study working on papers. Today I decided at least to start it. I have already completed and printed agriculture tasks register.
Now I need to make here some order with papers and clean the study since floor got dirty. I need clean place to work in.

Recently I have bought 2000 paper sheets, over 100 envelopes, some post stamps – so I am ready to fight with the official correspondence which is ahead of me. I have so many problems... that I don’t know with which case to start first...

I need money! I have to invest money into my farm! Local authorities do not want to help at all. They are only eager to cause any possible damage to me. They advise me to sell the farm instead of giving any help to me.
Now they are hunting for my beautiful, noble horses.
Of course – it is cheeky and even more. It is ill usage of the administrative law. But I have to deal with it wisely. They are very eager to overuse their powers. I am not going to let them for that. My horses are beautiful, healthy, well fed and happy here. This is me, who brought them here. They were born here. They are MY GREAT breeding success.
But evil, jealous people are eager to rob them from me with ill usage of the law. NO WAY! NEVER.

So now I need to tackle with all these problems... Lots of writing in front of me!

Besides I have lots of houseworks and farming tasks around. I don’t have enough time for all these duties.
Need to organise myself much better. Lucky me I feel good recently. Just I had a few days of pain because of menstruation, but now it is gone. Also my herbs helped to tackle with the menstruation. They are really working... :)

So, to warm up my fingers – I have written this post. My fingers play fast and light with the keyboard.
I have switched on energetic, fast music. I need speed now! The music helps to work faster :)
I am ready to start massive paper work :)

My Polish Radio - Moje Polskie Radio

I have found out another Polish radio - this time the website cotains also spoken word, not only music :)
http://moje.polskieradio.pl/

Twenty Two Jam Jars

I have made another 22 jam jars and I am proud of myself :)

Another empty 50 jars are waiting for filling them with delicious jam of mine :) Because my jam is of course delicious ;)

Paper Day

Today I finally am doing papers. I have written several official letters and then took a stroll to orchard to give oats for horses and bring closer to the house some goats. I also cut some more fruit branches. Cat has eaten pancake and drunk milk. I have eaten also a pancake. I fed poultry as well. Need to give them more water and feed the dog. I am tired now. I woke up at 5 today. Goats were fighting outside and I needed to go out and part them. 

I feel I need a rest and then I would like to do some more papers and also finish making jam. I was waiting today for ordered goods delivery, but nothing arrived. I have written emails to the suppliers. Most of them replied. Two parcels were sent, one not yet. Anyway – none of them will arrive today. It’s too late for it. So probably on Monday or the following days.

I think I should save my powers. I work too much and too long. All day long. I should stop that. To try work only 8 hours a day. Like city people. But is so much work in front of me...

Not A Paper Day

For today I have planned to do papers. I have some urgent correspondence to which I have to answer fast. I am glad that there are no city whores under my roof who would comment in this way: “She spends all day in front of computer instead of farming”. Some city idiots have too small brains to imagine that farming includes also doing papers. Specially since we joined EU which produces lots of paper requirements.

But first part of the day I spent mainly outside. I milked goats and took them back to the orchard to let them graze on weeds. Horses are in another orchard. I brought them some oat there. They love it. Also geese love oat. 
I have given them as well. My Cat and dog were given milk.

I also collected some vegetables. I don’t have them a lot, but enough for me and eventual guests. For winter may come 3 men. A Greek, an American and a Jude maybe. We’ll see. The American is nice. The Greek too fussy I think so I hesitate whether to host him or not? 

I have cut some fruit trees branches and brought them to the yard. But now I don’t have time to remove all leaves from them and cut them into small pieces and plant them. I need to take care of the documents. I have two deadlines. I also need to make dinner and take a bath since I am sweat.

I switched my current on in the electric fence and it is quite strong which is good. The horses should stay in the orchard without any problem. They have there enough food. But I need to check the west fence there. Maybe was broken by deer or boars. 

Today for dinner I am going to cook pumpkin, eggs, potatoes... and maybe beetroot’s leaves soup for tomorrow? I will see. I am a bit tired now. 

Today finally I have found cheap enough fruit tree protectors, but unfortunately I don’t have money to buy them now. Anyway – I have bought by now 30 protectors. Maybe it will be enough for now. I don’t have so many trees like before. Unfortunately... ;(

Unfortunately after long day work I was too tired to take care of papers... I took bath and went to bed to collect seeds from pumpkin.

Online Shopping

I have made some essential farm shopping online. 30 tree protectors, 500 bags for grain which I am going to use as a tree protectors because they are much cheaper than original tree protectors, besides they enable straw application which is needed for winter time. By the way I bought gloves for roses. And I bought also new scales, because my previous one got broken during weighting. 

A Big Shopping

I am very glad :) I have bought lots of oat, wheat, potatoes and some bailey :) I have bought: 800kg of oat, 500kg of wheat, 700kg of potatoes, 100kg of bailey. Huge shopping :D A bulk shopping :) My house is full of grain and potatoes :) I hardly can move here ;))). But my animals and I are secured for the winter and even for all year :) Well, still I need some hay and straw. But I have already made an appointment with my new supplier... :) He is great... A farmer from Podlasie :) He was very nice to me :) I think, I like him :)

A Small Shopping

I went to nearby village to bring there plastic rubbish (there are special containers for segregated garbage), to buy chicken, plums and to chat with one local gardener about gardening. He is an experienced gardener and has lots of plants in his garden. A shop assistant was surprisingly very chatty about gardening as well, so I stood there patiently for 20 minutes until she finished talking. Nice girl. Maybe I will swap some plants with her. 

She told me something interesting. Local villagers – these ones who live in Sokółki in block of flats or  houses – they usually grow their own vegetables in their little gardens. Big farmers, who own lots of land and cows – every second of them doesn’t have a garden and he prefers to buy vegetables in the village shop. It’s surprise to me, since they have got so many modern agricultural machines, that they could easily make a garden for themselves. But they don’t. Probably busy with mass production of milk or meat have no time for it. Or maybe they are too lazy to work in their own gardens after working all day with their animals and fields. 
Anyway – I didn’t know the local market structure looks like that. I was rather thinking that it’s opposite. I thought that the villagers from block of flats don’t have their own vegetables and buy in the shop. Well, I thought that, because I saw some of them buying vegetables in the shop. But maybe it changed recently? Or maybe not all of them have gardens or are eager to grow there their own vegetables?

Then I visited a local gardener and bought from him plums for seeds. I need lots of seeds.

My plantation is destroyed and I have no money to buy new trees, so at least I try to grow fruit trees from seeds and branches. I also collect young wild fruit trees. But digging them up is very time consuming.

The seedlings I have made are okay. Looks okay. I hope, they will survive until spring and willl grow well. Some of them I have planted around month ago, some just recently. They need at least a month - a warm month to develop roots. I am not sure if I should leave them outside or bring them inside. I have decided to bring them inside and keep them in basement. I need over 600 fruit trees. If my seedlings grow, I will save lots of money and will have very various, local species. Local species are proof to frost much more then these ones from the south of Poland. 

It’s cold today. Not very cold, but much colder than a couple of days ago. I think I should start burn wood in the oven. Also I don’t have gas to cook fast some dishes. I need to start the oven which is annoying, since it doesn’t work properly. Before it starts work – I will have clouds of smoke everywhere. 

I brought from the village a chicken. I think I will back it in a special prodiż together with potatoes. It would be much faster than waiting for oven to be hot enough for cooking dinner. I need to start the oven anyway, but maybe I will do it tomorrow morning after cutting some apples and plums for the jam. 

While coming back from the village this time I was walking instead of driving a bike and I was collecting seeds and branches for seedlings. Now the branches are here, in the yard, but it’s already very dark and cold, so I will make seedlings from them tomorrow. Tomorrow I cannot move anyway, since I am waiting for potatoes and oat delivery. I have to be at my yard, so I will take care of the branches tomorrow. 

Mistake?

I am all in tears. They took away one of my dogs. It’s because of that two bloody lesbians. The enemies. Traitors. Dog Satja gave birth today and was very thin after that. Vet inspectors who suddenly came today asked me what I am going to do with the puppies. I didn’t know. I cannot afford buying so much food for so many dogs. They assured me that the dog and her babies will have great care and lots of food in the shelter. I have enough food for two dogs, but not for nearly 10. Vet visit was surprise to me. I was so confused. I agreed first to give away the dog because of her numerous puppies. Before she was taken I gave her a big bowl of milk, fresh bread and a pot of jam because gas is over and I couldn’t cook rise today.

The car from shelter came. There was nothing inside for puppies transportation. I was afraid that they will die during the transport. The dog started to bring babies outside the car. She didn’t want to go! :( Suddenly I felt sorry for her. She didn’t want to go! Here is her home! I started to cry. But I had signed the papers. I had agreed to give them away. I had to give them away now... The men who came to take the dogs said, that she will be adopted for sure, because she is lovely. I know she is lovely. I told them that I want her back after she will feed babies. In two months. She is in Giżycko now. In the shelter. I don’t have a car. It will be problem for me to go there and bring her back. Maybe I shouldn’t give her away? Maybe I should keep her here while she is feeding puppies? But what with the puppies after two months when they grow big and bigger? This all happened too quick. I didn’t have time to think it over. The vets, exactly one female vet who was enchanted by my horses urges very much on issuing papers for my youngest horses. They will be described and will get passports soon. Horses, goats, poultry, the other dog and cat are fine. Very fine. The vet inspectors have written this in their protocol. Satja also was fine, but after giving the birth was very thing. I didn’t know that she was pregnant. She should get twice as much food than the other dog. And she should eat medicine against worms. Now I have just one dog. The most aggressive one. Very good defending dog. Satja was too mild. Too calm. Maybe let her be adopted by someone from a city? She would have good, warm place to live and lots of good food. Here she had freedom. Here was her home. But my dogs were fighting with each other. Maybe let her be adopted by someone from a city? If she will be missing me, maybe she will run away and come back to me? If she will, I will not let her to be taken away never again. 

I am still in emotional shock. I am still confused. I don’t know if they did right thing taking her away from me. I am not sure if I did right thing letting them to do it. I am totally confused. Now I think that I have 3 litre of milk everyday, rise supplies for next couple of months – enough to feed the dog mum and even her babies. But what later to do with the puppies when they became dogs? At shelter at least they have shelter and lots of food. The shelter is financed by county or state and they can afford to feed all dogs very well. But I feel I did mistake. I shouldn’t let them take her away :((( I am so sorry now... :((( I am shaking now...

Voices

Since some days, I don’t know exactly from when because I didn’t pay much attention to it – I hear new voices.
I thought it was a bird singing. But recently I have learnt that beavers also make such birdlike noises. They whistle. So this sound which I am hearing maybe is just beaver’s whistling? I could see many beaver’s traces in the grass. It looks like my beavers are very active and are able to come very near my settlement. 
Right now I am also hearing a whistling... Very close to the house... It looks like they are everywhere...
I feel a little bit like surrounded by zombies :) Beavers come up only at night. And it’s night. Very late night.
The biggest beaver can have even up to 140cm length. It would be scary to meet such one in my yard at night ;)

Reading Evening

I am spending the evening reading funny short stories about travel traffic in Australia. Well written – and very interesting. So I can learn much about travellers without travelling and meeting them personally... The stories also taught me to be more careful with people. You never know to what they are really up to... ;)
Well, I have some my own experiences with travelling people.
I think the most important in this travel traffic is to remain yourself and don’t let others to fool you up. My farm, my house – my rules. Take it or leave it. It’s also important to express clearly basic rules before people come here. Other hosts have no problems with assertive expression what they expect from others. I also shouldn’t. Maybe I was sometimes too soft or shy. We have now generation alpha. Generation alpha rules. I should be more assertive and tough and clarify things before people come. Then such meetings should be okay and go smoothly. 

Poles

I had to take back horses from a meadow to which they got broken into. It is my meadow, but I want them to graze in orchard first. I have cut some poles for the fruit trees. Not many, because the chainsaw stopped working. But several. Anyway, now need to bring them to the orchard. Okay. Basement. Need to make space there for potatoes. And need to make a gate for the tractor coming across a field. A new cat is visiting my settlement since two days. It is wild, but I hope to tame it. I brought out some milk for him/her. I found more eggs today. Today I will eat pancake because I have already ready pastry for it, but at supper I will eat scrambled eggs.

I think I need to replant these plants to other spots. But rather next year - I have too much other tasks to do now.

Another Active Day

I think I am run out from titles for my posts ;))) 
Today I had another active day which I spent outside. The morning and noon was sunny and warm. I love it. I made some more seedlings, fed poultry dogs and cat, milked goats. I made some order in the stable. I took two goats closer to the house and installed them in the orchard to let them graze on the weeds which horses don’t like to eat. I collected some meant. Horses have eaten most grass in the apple and plum orchard. Only some places are left for goats now.

I wanted to go today to buy potatoes, but first need to make space for them in the basement and also make a gate for the tractor which is to come here through the field with the potatoes. First part of the day was so nice, that I preferred to spend it making seedlings outside in front of the house. The seedlings which I made before looks good. But those which were planted a day later after cutting branches don’t look so good, so next seedlings I will make after preparing containers or pots for them first. They should be planted instantly after cutting them. 
And I think it’s better to remove all leaves, but not always it is disturbing. Some seedlings which have leafs still look good. Maybe leafs help them to start grow roots? Maybe. I need to ask about it at a garden forum.

Now it’s raining and I can use this time for indoor activities. Just I am already tired and need to rest a bit. I also want to listen to some new novel taken from http://www.free-ebooks.net/

I have found a very interesting readings on the Internet which are opening my eyes for many social things and are reading them since hours... until the pain in my back :) I wish I could lie down and listen to it, but the thing is, I can understand better while reading by my eyes than listening to the text spoken by a native speaker. Specially automatic native speaker... ;)

An Active Day

I spent all day outside doing something active. I cut fruit branches and made seedlings from them.
I milked goats. I fed poultry, dogs and cat. I brought some more bricks and pots to make another raised vegetable bed. I moved an electric fence a bit. I made some order with branches lying next to the road. I checked meadows and one part of the river. I took some photos of beavers work. I made some arrangements with some people. Unfortunately I couldn’t buy hay and straw. The men with whom I was talking before didn’t call this time or were not present at home. I don’t like to loose my time. So tomorrow I am going to buy potatoes and make new windows to the stable. A friend of mine is to do the windows. I will need to pay for it to him. 
I could do the windows myself, but I am busy with other things and he is more experienced in such kind of tasks. Days go so quickly... I managed to read a bit about growing fruit bushes. I am using this knowledge in my orchard now. My young trees, these which survived looked decent now. I need to buy for them plastic protectors in order to protect them against hares and deer. It’s late now. I am a bit tired, but not so much. I need to read mail which was delivered to me by postman recently, but I don’t feel like doing this. Maybe tomorrow... but tomorrow is another busy day... hmmm... I am sleepy anyway and want to lie down :) I need to rest.

Some more seedlings.

My Beloved Beavers!

Since a year beavers nest at my land. They build dams at my inner river. Today I discovered another dam. It’s close to my garden, so fantastic – I will have good spot for taking water and bathing... Beloved beavers...

I cannot afford making my own fish pond, I mean deep enough to breed fish, but they did it for me!
I love my animals. They are the best my friends... The pond they created is deep enough for breeding fish...

A friend of mine visited me. Maybe he will move into my house for the winter... We’ll see...

Today I am reading about beavers. I prefer to know how to deal with them and what expect from them. They don't eat fish and even help to fish to survive in winter, because they make wholes in the ice, so fish can breath and survive. That's good. 

I found also an interesting fishermen forum. The men gathered there have amazing experience and  can be much help to me. I would like to learn how to fish... :)

Making more space

Today day is warm. Even very warm. I milked the goats, washed a pot, pour some boiling water in it and left it to rest. I went to one of the stables to see if there is enough room for hay and started to make more space. While being there, I discovered that Jeff left their rubbish. I got angry. The rubbish lay around in the stable. I told him not to bring there rubbish but he didn’t listen to me and did it against my will. Some helpers are really irritating. Now I have extra work with cleaning all the stable from the garbage. I got tired and sweat and returned home to rest a while and eat some plums. Now I am going to goats meadow to change position of some goats who need fresh spots to graze. I need to make new seedlings as well.

I have changed goats position and watered them. Now need to finish cleaning in the stable. I have taken most garbage, but there are some more lying around. I need one more bag for it.

Sleepy Sunday

I waked up and after making breakfast felt sleepy again. Fuck. I need to rest a while and go to prepare stables for hay and straw transport.

A Deal

A farmer called me. He wants me to teach him how to use internet. He said he will bring a bag of potatoes and some fruit trees and seeds for exchange. I said okay :)

Other farmer called. He said he wants to sell to me hay and straw in friendly price. We need transport because he lives a bit far away. It will be huge truck - up to 50 bales can be loaded on it. I wonder how much the driver wants for the delivery. I will know it tomorrow. It would be good to buy the hay and straw from the farmer. Good price and hay and straw in one transport from the same farmer. I want to buy 40 hay bales and 10 straw bales.

International Holiday Helper project

I am tired now. I spent first part of the day on my internet project and I am not going to spend any hour on it in this coming week – I have too much work outside and in the house. The other part of the day I spent on cooking and washing dishes. I have eaten a good dinner and now need to rest before I will go out to milk goats. I should milk them in the morning, but it was raining. Now is sunny again, but I am tired now. Need to rest at least a half of hour.

http://www.internationalholidayhelpers.blogspot.com/

Hunting For Winter Supplies

I AM GLAD. I managed to get 200kg of grain (wheat for the hens), 5kg common local plums (my intention is to extract from them seeds and plant them in my orchard), 4kg potatoes (my intention was to taste if I like them, because I was to make decision witch specie of two to buy in bulk amount for all winter), 150 strawberry seedlings (for my intended small plantation). My shopping was delivered to my farm for free! which is great thing and I am happy about it. This time the grain was weighed properly. I took my scales with me and wanted to use them at the seller shed where he keeps the grain. They didn’t agree for it, but he put more grain to the bags than usually :) Their scale said it was okay. The man was slightly more generous and intended to put a bit more grain to the bags than necessary, but his wife was mean and she was making sure he didn’t put too much grain to the bags. But I think this time it was honest deal. I got also from the woman a souvenir: a small branch of 
grapes. Of course they contain seeds, which I am already extracting :))) I am great seed collector :D

Anyway, I am going to check one of these bags as well, just because I am curious if their scales is really okay working. This type of scale which they have is not precise. My scales are much better. I got also new elegant bags from the seller. I had to pay for them, but at least they are neat and I have my grain well secured in the bags. I left my bike at their shed and we went with the seller’s car to my farm and yard. He helped me to load the grain and other shopping to my house and I came back with him to take my bike and continue my ride to other villages in search of straw, hay, oat and other needed staff.

I continued hunting in two other villages. I was riding my bike of course, so it took some time and effort to get from one village to another, but the weather was great – perfect for riding bike so I enjoy it a lot. I had managed to repair the bike so I was able to use it this day, which was very helpful. 

In the third village I found a bit cheaper potatoes and cheap straw, so I am very happy about it. I made arrangement for delivery of the straw and potatoes. The villagers with whom I made appointment were very nice to me, specially the Mom. She was so generous, that she has given to me 5kg or more potatoes for free. Just to taste it if I like it before I buy bigger amount of the potatoes. While coming back, I collected two baskets of wild pears, which were lying along the village road. They are tasty and sweet and they have inside seeds, which I desire the most :) I am going to plant the seeds as well, in my pear orchard. So I returned with two full baskets of pears, potatoes and some tasty apples as well, which I collected by the road in other village. The apples are not only tasty, but also the seeds are easy to take them out, so I am glad. Now two days of space preparation for tomatoes and straw and on Monday I should get the straw and potatoes... What’s more, I got a phone number to a driver, who has big transport which will be good for hay delivery. I have found a farmer who has good hay, but he has no transport, so I need to hire one on my own. I hope it will not be too expensive... I made also appointment with the nice Mom for next year straw. I have already ordered from them 30 bales of straw... So the day was definitely successful :) I can rest now and enjoy my success :)

Making Winter Supplies

I already know where is proper grain and tomatoes. Now need to get transport and bags as bloody farmers who sell bulk amount of grain and tomatoes don’t care about bags. So now I, in order to buy some bags of potatoes and grain need to buy in the Internet 100 empty bags. What a shame! How annoying! 

While in the village I met my local ex helper and he told me where I can get all I need. Probably all I need. So it would be wise to visit the farmer and see if it’s true and if yes - make a deal with him. I need straw, hay, grain, potatoes.

My bikes are broken. I will have to walk there. It’s not so close. A few kilometres. I would like to go there tomorrow, but I made appointment with the villager about cutting the wood. Now I regret. I can cut the wood on my own. I don’t need him. And I don’t want him to be in my farm while I will be away. 

Honesty

I was curious if the villager from whom I buy grain is honest. I had impression he wasn’t so I used my scales to weigh grain which should weigh 25kg per each bag. Well, in each bag there was only 23 kg. I bought from him 5 bags, so I lost 2kg x 5 = 10kg of grain. 

I also weighed potato bag and this one was okay. I bought potato bag in a village shop.

Planting

I have planted 5 plum trees. It’s not many, but the soil is still hard to dig and I have other duties to do. There was just one rain this night. It’s not enough. The soil is still dry and hard. But if I manage to plant at least 5 trees a day, after 10 days I will have planted 50 fruit trees.

I have made an order with branches in the inner road. I have fed poultry and dogs, also cat. 
Now time to milk the goats.

Two villagers came. One of them wanted a piece of glass and door from me. I asked him if he wants to earn some money for helping me with cutting wood for the winter. He agreed to come and also to bring some wild fruit trees.

I have milked the goats and poured the milk through a strainer. I gave some milk to the cat.

A man from Orange called me to say, that I will get the Internet cable, but late.
If it is true – I will be able to resume my internet business and start making money.


.

My Tools

Looks like some my tools are missing. That’s it! I stop hosting so called volunteers. It’s enough.
Too much harm, too little help. And I hate to be robbed, specially by people who declared that they wanted to help. I collected my tools for years, often resigning from good food and eating very poor dishes – only to be able to buy tools and building materials. And I hate when I am robbed by bloody thieves. Also it looks like my towels are missing. I am not going to share my house with strangers. I feed them for free, let them use my house for free, I teach them every possible thing and bear their fussiness and yet they rob me. I hate it!
I can manage on my own and have no motivation to share my house with hostile unskilled strangers who pretend to be your friends.

My World

Some people sometimes ask me why I live where I live. Why I don’t use my talents and skills to make career in a city. They cannot understand that I have chosen the place because I like it here.  Because I feel the best here. I love to have my own warm peaceful real home, my beautiful land, loving animals and lots of freedom. I need lots of space and I have it here. I need close contact with nature and I have it here.

Well, it cost lots of hard labour – that’s the price. But I prefer it than easy city life. Besides, the simple labour is rewarding when you see fruits of your efforts, when you create your space around you due to your needs and dreams.

Most people are astonished, that I prefer to live lonely on my own here than being in crowd of people.
But what’s so good about being in the crowd? Many people are lead by low instincts and when you feel it – you don’t feel well in their company. They are like vampires to you. Drain all energy from you. Nature is pure and innocent. Natural. Not harmful. You may rest among nature. Feel good. Most people make me tired. I could stand presence only a very few very good friends. Since years they are far away, busy with their own lives and families. I have learnt to manage and live on my own and I prefer it this way. I doubt if I ever meet someone with whom I could feel happy. I can tolerate others for some time. For example volunteers or CouchSurfers. But I don’t need them really. I could do without them. Volunteers should be welcomed here as people who offer to help me at my farm. But the reality is, that they demand from me extra work – hosting them is for me extra work and expense, teaching and explaining them every simple thing and dealing with them is tiring for me, especially if they tend to be difficult and fussy. Also, often happens, that they make more harm then help which makes me think twice if I should still host them. So, I decided to be more careful whom I invite to my house. I think I don’t want to stretch myself too much. I prefer to host people who are a real help to me – not another burden.

Big Branch

This morning I took the bath and made a breakfast. Before it or while doing it – I fed poultry and dogs and watered them. After bathing I went out to finish making aronia seedlings. I also collected and brought home some pot stands which I washed yesterday and left to dry outside.

A big white car arrived. I went out to see who was it. They were electricians who came to remove stork nest from electric pole in my yard. They came with lift, so by the way I asked them to remove one of disturbing big branches. They were so okay that they agreed to do it and even didn’t want money for it. They only asked me to make order with the stork nest which they made fall down from the pole.

One of the electricians cut down this big branch with his own chainsaw and I needed to cut it into smaller pieces, so asked him to start my chainsaw. He tried a few times and succeed, so I cut off smaller branches from the big branch and started to make order with it, because it was laying in the middle of my inner road in front of my yard making any traffic impossible.

I thanked electricians for the help and they drove away. I was making the order with the branches until I became sweat. The chainsaw is heavy and I am a weak person, so I got tired soon, but managed to make much order with the branches. The engine was still warm and I wanted to go to orchard to cut down some poles, but I was too tired and sweat after making order with these branches in the road. So I went home to rest and drink some milk before I continue with branches.

I am glad I could get rid of this big branch. I few days ago when I was washing the windows at the attic, this branch irritated me since it was covering the view of the inner road and my farm entrance gate. I want to see if someone is coming to my farm, so wanted to cut down the branch but it was too high. Happily it happened today, thanks to the electricians and the lift, so I am happy :)

I need to rest now and then finish making order with the branches...

My new cat Miriam is getting more and more tamed with each day. Today she dared to sit on the other bed while I was lying in my big bed in the bedroom. I go to bed for a while...

Mysterious Plant

I have planted lots of seeds of a mysterious plant. I thought, it was a pumpkin seeds. At least I was told they were pumpkin seeds. But the fruits are not orange nor yellow. They are green. Dark green. And the taste of the fruit is very similar to zucchini, but I think better. The fruit is more soft and delicate. Good for salads and also for hot dishes. And it grows round and big :)

Raised Garden Beds

The day is warm, even very warm. I have washed the study window from outside, because Dakota had licked it trying to kiss me through the window and made it blurred. Now I am making seedlings from aronia and one home plant. I have spread apple seeds in rows of  apple trees in orchard. Exactly: rotten apples with seeds. I hope that at least some of them will grow into trees. Rotten apple is good base of minerals for seeds and for growing young trees.

The apple trees which grow already close to the inner road are looking good. I cut off excessive branches which help the main plant to grow bigger and stronger, so they look better with each day. Also my horses graze around them, but are careful not to destroy the young trees. But I need more of apple trees. 
The apple trees which grow in other orchard, behind the river – are eaten by some kind of animal. I think by deer, because I have seen a couple of spots with pressed grass – big enough for a deer and besides hair wouldn’t reach so high to eat the top of a tree. Recently I have seen 3 young deer nearby. It looks like they got into my orchard. I need to check the fence close to the forest and think about metal wire there or wooden crossbars.

I have made two raised garden beds. One is already finished and filled with fertile soil. I have planted spring onion there and watered it. Now it’s turn for the plant to grow big and dense. It would be very handy to have spring onion just next to the house.

I have milked two goats. The third run away and I need to catch it first. I have put on new earrings to two goats who lost them. I hate the task. It’s unpleasant for me and painful for goats, but European Union orders all farmers to do it. I need to prepare one more pot for aronia seedlings which are still waiting for it. And come back to catch and milk the last goat. It’s already evening. I spent all day outside. It’s still warm and nice. I am tired now. I am working since early morning up to now. I think I need rest and take a bath.

Okay. That’s it. I  have catched the last goat and milked her. It’s already dark. I am so tired that don’t have power to eat, which is actually good. You shouldn’t eat late just before going to bed. I want just go to bed and sleep. I don’t have power to take a bath. The milk for cheese is waiting. I think I have to do it tonight otherwise tomorrow will be too acid. 

Thinking and thinking

I am thinking and thinking today. I need to prepare new farm strategy or focus on continuing what I have started before. I need also make winter supplies. I am busy outside as well doing different things. While I am walking across my land, I am considering different aspects of farming at my land. I need to invest more money in my farm, but I don’t have them. So I am trying to find other solutions which would be able to replace investing money.

I think I need to draw a sketch of plants and animals which I would like to grow and breed. Need to think what I have and what I would like to have here.

I think I should organise my farm production in such way, so it would be possible for me to be independent from external services and goods and external help.

The Daily Duties

I have milked the goats and watered and fed the poultry. I am going to make pudding from the today milk. Now I need to check how are the fruit tress, because it’s warm and dry and I suspect that there is no water in the place where Jeff left them. I need also cut down some more apple branches, but before it – need to prepare another pots with soil for them. 

Well, the plants Jeff left are still in water, but don’t look too good. Probably, because their roots were heavily damaged. I think it’s time to plant them. So after first rains I am going to plant them.

I have started to make a dinner. This time my favourite chicken. Baked chicken of course :)
I am also cooking żurek and pudding. It’s sunny outside, I would like to do something there. I have started building flower and herb beds from bricks and good soil.

My beautiful horses are grazing politely in their meadow. They are wonderful creatures. After dinner I will go to bring them some apples. They love them.

My Own Natural Yoghurt!

It seems that yoghurt is well done. Consistence looks great. It needs to cool down and then rest a few hours in a fridge. Then it will be good to try it.
I hope it is tasty! :) I have made 16 jars with the yoghurt. 13 little ones and 3 bigger. I though it would be more handy to make the yoghurt already in jars.
I used for this purpose a small ceramic jars which initially were designed to be used as containers for spices. I have bought a lot of them some time ago, so now they are just perfect for making and keeping yoghurt. I am very curious about the taste, but need to wait. But consistence is very good: dense and creamy. The bread is also okay. I have eaten breakfast consisting from my home made food: home baked bread and sliced boiled eggs. Yolks looked wonderful. Very orange. Now it’s time to feed poultry, dogs, cat and milk goats. A friend of mine is coming today to visit me, so I need to milk the goats before he comes.

Okay. I have tasted the yoghurt :) It IS good :))) Even better than original.
So from now on I am going to do it more often... :)

Slow Food

Why slow food? Because you move slow while making it? Because you are slow after eating this? Or because you need time to make it? :) - Of course, because you need much labour and time to make it. As I am busy farmer overloaded with too much daily duties, I don’t do slow food every day, but I try to do it sometimes. Today I am making 3 slow foods: goat cheese, goat yoghurt, bread. So tomorrow I should have at least fresh bread and yoghurt. The cheese needs more time. I have 11 eco eggs, so tomorrow maybe scrambled eggs with dill and lettuce? Or onion? I will see. Tomorrow I would like to make at least two flower beds for pink rose bushes. And maybe one for spring onion. I got inspired of new website I spotted. They do there so much beautiful things. Beautiful, wise, artistic. I like it. I think I will arrange nicely the new planned flower beds in front of the house. In next year I expect to have here young rose bushes.

In search of winter supplies

I am tired! I went for a bike trip to find straw, hay, potatoes and grain for the winter. The bike chain fell down a couple of times, so I had to walk the bike. I did around 15km. I came back with some grain for hens and small, but valuable shopping: oat flakes ;) and yoghurt which I am going to use to make my own yoghurt. How to make yoghurt? Where is google??? I need to use it. I have forgotten the yoghurt making procedure and need to refresh my memory. I haven’t been doing yoghurt for ages... But, I still have thermometer which still works, so it is a good start. I will need it to measure milk temperature. Okay, I have found some recipes. Time to get to goats and bring the fresh milk... ;) 

Cat Visibility

Cat visibility is constantly growing. I spotted her more than several times now. She is gaining more courage and is hunting wildly which is great thing. She was very noisy last night in the kitchen. It seems, that with each day there is less and less rodents here. That’s good. But I am sure she will have here a full time job for all autumn and winter, since rodents like to hide themselves in warm places during cold months, so they will be storming my house in the coming weeks and months. I have here also some winter supplies which attract rodents even more. I think I will bring one more hunter here :)

The Pumpkin Soup

I don’t have to eat every day a chicken (although I would like to :))) ), so I have decided to cook a pumpkin soup. It is already good, 5 minutes more and the soup will be ready... :) I can’t wait to eat it... Tastes good! :)

The soup was good. I think tomorrow I will eat the same. I am sleepy again. I need to rest a while and then I will try to do what I planned to do today. Maybe desert? I have got two puddings in the fridge. 

Mares had escaped. I managed to bring back two of them. Still the youngest is outside my orchard. This case is more hard. I need rope this time. My tricks which worked with two other mares doesn’t work with the youngest.
I need to use force this time. So I came back home to change shoes and find a rope.

Okay. The foal is back in the orchard. But it was not an easy task. However I didn’t have to use force. First I tried persuasion, then one of my techniques. Eventually I made the foal to come back. I am tired. I had to walk a lot chasing the foal. I also corrected the neighbour’s fence, but this part of the fence is totally rotten and broken, there is no current. I secured that part with a tape, but it’s not enough. It needs to be repaired better. This part needs new logs and wire. 

When I was coming home the neighbour’s son arrived on his quad. I yelled to him, that the fence is gone. He didn’t respond. Either he didn’t hear or he is wild. I am not sure. He was hidden behind bushes around 200 metres away from me. I started to walk into his direction wanting to tell him that this part of fence is broken, but when I approached him closer – he drove away.

I brought additional tape and cut off the vulnerable part of the fence from the rest of the orchard. I hope it will be enough to prevent horses against breaking into there. But this vulnerable part of fence has to be replaced with new logs and wire. Also in repaired part of fence should be current. Today no current. The neighbour is keeping here his huge herd of cattle and current should be on. I don’t want his cows to get into my orchard and destroy my fruit trees.

I went to hug mares that they are so politely grazing in my orchard. Especially the oldest mare is doing here good job. I think she reads in my thoughts :) I have given them some apples, big hugs and kisses. 

It’s already 8 p.m. Time to bed. I am tired. Maybe I will have a cup of tea only. Oh, I should have my special herbal tea against menstruation pains... Tomorrow... I will try to survive today without it. I feel strange, but not so bad like recently.

Cat Miriam

The cat allowed me to see her twice this morning. She emerged twice from behind my cupboards in the study.

This time she was close to my face and looked for a while at me. Directly into my eyes. I wanted to touch her, but also didn’t want to scare her. I let her to take her time with her taming. But it’s progress :) I am glad. She will learn soon that there is no need to be afraid of me. I am her best friend.

It seems that it is going to rain. I need to walk outside to do something before it’s raining.

I washed two windows at the attic. I washed them not, because I expect volunteers here or any other guests. I washed them for myself. I think I should start doing more for myself. For my own comfort and pleasure. The view from the windows is amazing. I like to listen to the wind whispering among leafs of trees growing in front of the house from the south. The Sun appeared. I washed the windows and need a rest now. My forces today are frail. I need to save them and manage them carefully. I think I will make lunch from young pumpkin. No rush today please... I don’t have to build a pyramid today. I may enjoy every moment of this day in slow pace, doing minor things. Nothing exhausting today.

Between Dreams

I fight with my overwhelming somnolence. I think I need to slow down and stop demanding from myself so much. I am overworked and overtired. Days are long enough, but I need more and more breaks before each task. I need to rest often. I feel like a bear who fell asleep in it’s winter dream. I am not well physically today. So I have decided to work only a bit, just basic and simple things. Nothing too heavy. I need to prepare for the winter, but also need to do it in slower pace than I planned.

I also think about the people who came to my farm this year. Some of them were eager to pull out from me personal information only to use them against me. It taught me stop sharing with them this. I think it would be wiser not to talk about myself, my problems and my life and my matters. Most people don’t deserve your trust.

For example pressed by Jeff I reluctantly told him how much I paid for my farm. The day when he was leaving my farm he told me something stupid: “I could buy your farm and even a few farms like yours. I am rich enough for it”. Well, I didn’t share my personal information about my farm to hear something like that. Besides, he was wrong. The price I paid for the farm 10 years ago was good deal for me then, but right now, if I would like to sell the farm – I would get easily 20 times more. The prices changed a lot during last 10 years, not mentioning, that the price I have negotiated 10 years ago was real occasion, because at that time no-one was interested in buying this farm and the owner was in a hurry, so he was happy to sell the farm for any money. Estate market changed a couple years later after I moved here. Poland joined EU and land prices went suddenly up. And still are climbing. They will be climbing till 2016 when they will get their peak.

                                           One of mine beautiful natural ponds...

So, if I would like to sell my farm in 2016 year, I would make much more money on it then now. But I don’t want to sell it. It’s my home. My chosen place in the world. I sacrificed 10 years of my life and hard labour working on my land and trying to survive here. I am not going to sell it. Never. And such commercial approach as Jeff presented was in my opinion rude or at least arrogant. I felt it was rude. I hosted him for 10 days. He was my guest. And saying something like that it was rude. I need to be more careful whom I invite to my house. But it’s difficult to know it before you meet people. Strangers always try to present themselves in good light from distance. They promise great help, but when they come to your place they often are becoming a hard work to you, another burden. 

My natural pond... I love this place :) Ir's magic!

I wish I could renovate the house till the end and could start renting rooms for money. I have enough of dealing with some difficult to deal with tourists who pretend to be volunteers. They can be a real nuisance for you. Better to leave the work for skilled professionals and start to charge tourists for their stays at my farm. Right now it is not possible, because the renovation is still not finished. But I hope that in next year it will be possible.

The new cat let me see her this morning :) She was behind the cupboard in my study. Probably she was chasing there mice. That’s good. She has a lot of job to do in the house.  

Tired, But Prolific

I am very tired today, but also very prolific :) I have just created 7 new websites :)
Now they need to be developed and to grow.

In the morning I was really tired. I woke up, ate breakfast, took a bath and went to bed again. I was resting or sleeping till late morning or rather noon. Then I got up and went to feed poultry, milk the goats.

In so called meantime I managed to write two letters and created 7 new websites.
I also got an interesting recipe how to make a nutella from plum jam :)
It’s already evening. I need to rest a while and if I have some power, I will wash windows in the attic.

A Sunny Tuesday

It’s late morning, but I woke up at night around 2.30, so it’s okay :) I had right to sleep longer.
The hunting cat awoken me at night. She was chasing mice in my bedroom and it made me wake up.
Now she is again invisible. It’s annoying, when your own cat hides before you, but she is new here, this is why she is so shy. Anyway, a few years ago when I got a first cat she was well tamed and not hiding before me at all. Kreska was friendly cat from the start. She was wonderful cat and excellent hunter. And so pleasant and nice to me from the start. Last week new cat seemed to be tamed, but she is scared of the new place and hiding still. She doesn’t show up at all. I know she needs more time to get tamed, but anyway it’s annoying. 

I went upstairs to see how the attic looks like. Jeff did there good job, but still it needs to be finished. Anyway, less job than before. I found my machine for making yoghurt. Now I need to find the little glass jars for it and then I would be able to make yoghurt again. Jeff likes yoghurt. Maybe some of my new guests would like eat yoghurt as well. For breakfast I have eaten oat flakes with goat milk and sliced banana. I made some order at staircase to the attic. It’s nice, sunny weather, so I would like to wash windows in the attic. Then milking goats. No. I need fresh air first and goats should be milked in the morning. So first goats.

Well, first I have watered and fed poultry and dogs, because they are much closer and the task was quick. Now I am heading to the goats meadow and by the way I am going to check if the fence around orchard is okay, but it looks that it is okay, because my beloved horses are grazing politely in the orchard. They do there good job with cutting grass short and precisely around the young trees. They are excellent helpers.

Well, I have milked the goats and checked a fence. It’s already a lunch time, but I am not hungry and don’t need to cook anything new, since I have dinner which I cooked yesterday. I think I will make only fresh salad to it. And pudding for the desert. The new cat received the fresh milk as well, but she doesn’t show up. It’s nice, sunny weather – I am going to cut some excessive apple branches and make some new seedlings from them.

I have eaten baked chicken with young potatoes and dill. I have cut some excessive apple branches and also aronia and made seedlings from them. I hope they will grow well. It’s already evening. I am tired and sleepy. Time to go to bed.

The Heavenly Oats!

I have milked the goats and prepared oat flakes with goat milk and bananas... mmmmmmmm....
It was marvelous! Moon Beans would be happy to tast it ;)))


Gee... I am so sleepy... time to dream! :)

A Sunny Monday

Beautiful day today. At last I could sleep back in my biggest bed :) I feel good today. 

Early in the morning I visited poultry and watered them, gave them food. I went to goats meadow to see how the goats are and to switch them. Horses are grazing obediently in the orchard.  

I need to finish making seedlings and wash the dishes.

Okay. I have washed the dishes and made the seedlings. I also made list of things to do. Time to start cook dinner (or lunch due to western customs).

I have made a delicious luncherodinner :) Before it I went to the village shop to buy potatoes and by the way I found there oats and bananas, so I am very happy about it, because I don’t need to go to Olecko to buy oats :)
So, tomorrow morning oats with goat milk and bananas... niammmm.... :)

I am happy I got back my personal space in my house :) It was quite an interesting experience hosting here all those volunteers, but I am already tired with it and want to rest from strangers... Also I need to prepare to the winter well. I have ordered 200kg potatoes for the winter time. Need to buy straw and make the windows to the stable. Need to make wood for the winter. Plant trees. Make a fence and lots of lots of other things. I will do only the most urgent things and rest will need to wait until next year, or until the next proper volunteers.

Jeff spent 10 days here. He was very hardworking, but toilet which he repaired stopped working at all.
Also washing machine still doesn’t work. Order in the attic is still not finished. Only the trees which he dig up are okay and ready to be planted. And his bedroom and bathroom are clean. 

There are always pluses and minuses of the volunteering. Now I want to have my house only for myself at least for some time. No volunteers, no stresses, no obligations. Absolute peace of mind :) I feel - I need it :)

Well, I may host here guests similar to me. I mean open minded, tolerant and friendly.

A Fight with Local Mafia

I was just happily having bath trying to relax after hard work of the last weeks, when local Masurian Mafia arrived wanting money from me. I said “NO!” and they started to yell at me and trying to threaten me. And I returned them the yelling as well and took some photos of them standing in my yard and recorded their threats with my mobile phone. I told them to get lost from my land immediately and if not, I would call the police. We yelled at each other for over a quarter of minutes. I was wet standing in the middle of my yard wrapped only in a towel and with wet hair. When I finished yelling, I was already dry :) So much fun in the sunny Sunday evening ;)
Eventually they left noisily my yard using klaxon at the car they arrived. I told them, that if anything will be missing from my field, they will be suspected first. I have them on the pics! I have evidence of their raid!

A Note of Sadness

I am not sad, but it is sad that we couldn’t create long friendship. The thing is, that he didn’t really mean “a friendship” but “a long term relationship” and this one didn’t work. I feel a kind of note of sadness, but from the other side much relief. The moment he left my farm I got back my good mood. I prefer my freedom much more than being tangled up in a tiring, unhappy relationship. Maybe it means that I will stay single till the last day of my life. Maybe. But I prefer that than being trapped in an unhappy relationship.

I went to the orchard to check if the gate was shut well and coming back I cut down some apple branches intending to make seedlings from them. 

I have returned home and decided to take a long bath. I need relax!

The Winter Supplies

It’s time to start making winter supplies. I have bought 50kg of flour which is not enough for all the winter, but at least something for a start. 50kg flour means 50 loafs of breads. For one person this is enough bread for 100 days, or a bit more. If I continue to feed volunteers, I will need twice as much flour, also twice as much rise, sugar, potatoes and other food. 

The empty beer tins - the souvenirs Jeff has left at my farm :) I hanged them at fence wire and switched on the current. The tins make some noise while moving with wind so are hearable at dark night and are much better visible for horses during the day than the wire. Thanks to the noise, at night the horses know where is the gate and can avoid it. Also the smell of bear helps them to locate the gate.

At noon Jeff said he decided to go to Warsaw. So he decided to leave my farm. Well, he was great helper, very hardworking, good man, clean and honest. But unfortunately too bitter with everyday as he was disappointed I didn’t want him. What can I do? Sometimes I fall in love and sometimes I don’t. This time unfortunately I didn’t fall in love. When I am not in love, I don’t sleep with an accidental man. I am not a hippie woman at all ;) I am rather Puritan lady ;) Very strict about this things. No love – no sex. That’s it :) So he was angry with me with each day more and more and it was tireding to me more and more. He became aggressive and quarrelsome. It was not nice. Although I am very grateful to him for his help, I didn’t feel good having him around. Maybe this is why I felt so drained from energy. The situation was making me more tired. I have got lots of work at my farm and any additional stress is not good for me.

A Foggy Sunday

I woke up before the Sun. Outside dog Satja looking into my window and mass amount of fog around. I woke up already tired. I think I need a proper rest. I am overworked. Yesterday I told Jeff to have his day off today. He needs to rest as well. He is a good man, very hardworking, active all the time. But also very stubborn, arbitrary and quarrelsome so I need to rest from him as well. At least for a while.

I went outside to take a pic of the dense fog. I heard a hen promising an egg. Now the hens have lots of good food and are starting to give eggs. Also shutting them in the chicken coup helps to have more eggs, because they are made to lay the eggs inside the chicken coup, not somewhere in the yard. Anyway, I have just 4 birds able to give eggs and volunteers coming here from time to time, so I need more eggs. I would like to buy a few hens more.